John Williams and Gordon Ramsay

As the first flower buds of spring are just beginning to emerge in Dollar's beloved burn, the winter blues are finally drifting away. This, of course, means that life is gradually becoming more and more eventful at Dollar Academy. Spring is very much around the corner, and with it final exams, deadlines, and assignments-- not to mention events such as the Spring Musical (Oliver!), the Spring Concert, and so much more. It's hard to believe that there are only two days until March begins, especially because that means that I am at my final months overseas. Despite all of these activities and emotions, though, I don't have to look far to take a break from hectic workdays.

Dollar has had the honor of hosting around twenty student musicians from the Cayman Islands, four of whom are residing in Heyworth for the length of their ten-day stay. The pupils are able to get a glimpse of what life is like at a Scottish school, as well as a taste of Scotland in general. Of course, many of their activities here are music-oriented, as they are all members of the St. Ignatius Catholic School Wind Band-- but some others include touring the school or spending the day shopping in Edinburgh. Fun fact: the country is actually pronounced with the emphasis on Cay-man instead of Cay-man, one of the many tidbits of information I have learned about the small Caribbean territory.

I was understandably delighted when asked to be a Cayman "buddy" for the four girls in Heyworth, a duty which implied making the girls at home in the boarding house and, generally, just making sure they don't end up somehow in the Shetland Islands. The girls (Nazia, Jordanne, Asya, and Jaimie) are young, all around 13 and 14, but are extremely sociable and intelligent. They have undoubtedly been a pleasant addition to Heyworth, and our continuous jokes about the contrast in climate between Scotland and the Caribbean seem to never get old.

As a chaperone to the Cayman pupils, I earned the opportunity yesterday to attend one of the many expeditions open to our visitors: a "John Williams and Friends" performance in the Glasgow Concert Hall by the Royal Scottish National Orchestra. The RSNO is one of the best orchestras in the UK, and it was truly a pleasure to hear them-- especially with such a wonderfully geeky genre. The conductor was Richard Kaufman, an established musician who not only works with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra for 11 years, but has also collaborated directly with John Williams and even played in the score of some of his best-known soundtracks like "Close Encounters of the Third Kind."

William's music is incredibly diverse, on top of being just incredible. The program of the concert ranged from the famously ominous two-note rumble of "Jaws" to the lively, jazzy "Catch me if you Can" soundtrack. You can bet that, as an unashamed motion picture fangirl, I was absolutely giddy for the whole three hours in the breathtaking venue. As for the orchestra itself, the musicians were obviously outstanding-- I was especially impressed by the brass section, their notes being unbelievably crisp and synchronized. From my own experience, I know that the staccato/presto style of action movies can indeed present a challenge, but the RSNO certainly went above and beyond the call of duty. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to take any videos or recordings during the performance, so you'll just have to trust me that it was one of the most satisfying events I have been to this year.

Ok, I might not have been allowed to take this either. Just don't tell.

Today, our Cayman visitors took a trip up to Northern Scotland, but I decided to sit this one out in order to attend one of the most anticipated house trips of the term: a visit to the acclaimed Chinese restaurant "Chop Chop" in Edinburgh for a belated Chinese New Year's celebration.Now, this is not the greasy, MSG-laden Chinese takeaway with which most of us are familiar. It is wholesome, flavorful, and authentic-- in fact, it has been hailed by Gordon Ramsay (yes, the Gordon Ramsay, "Kitchen Nightmares" Gordon Ramsay, that one) as possibly serving the best dumplings in Scotland. But don't take my word for it: check out the picture of him and the owner hanging within the first few steps of the doorway.

Thus, I was simply obligated the supposedly famous dish. I tried the chili chicken dumplings, which were simply to die for, and I also tried some of Una's noodles with peanut and mustard sauce, which was... interesting to say the least. Overall, though, the atmosphere was nice and we entertained ourselves well. It was certainly a good chance to leave the boarding house, and an excellent bonding experience for us before we get too busy with exams.

Exciting news: Spring break plans for this year will include visiting Henni (a fellow Heyworthite) in Hamburg, Germany; seeing the Berlin Wall and possible the Cologne Cathedral; and hopping down to Prague to see Anna (another Heyworthite)! I scored an amazing deal on flights, but more importantly, my heart was on seeing Germany while I was here. Prague, of course, is a wonderful bonus-- and really not that far off from my route. I'll also finally be touring Loch Ness with my friend and ESU Scholar, Evan Fischer along with his mother, Mrs. Rutledge, for the last days of March-- I feel like not visiting this location during a year in Scotland would be a crime. I'm so excited for the next events to come, both here at school and on my travels. After a relatively uneventful winter, I will gladly welcome any chance to explore the wonderful atmosphere around me.

Tiptoeing through the Tulips

Paris? Check. Rome? Check. London? Check. Next on the Europe bucket list for me, of course, was Amsterdam, another of Europe's great cities. Although popular with tourists for its toleration of sex, drugs, and who know what else, the city appealed to me because of hits vibrant culture and cultural significance, not to mention its beautiful scenery. Although I was unsure of what to expect at first, Amsterdam soon captured my heart. In a word, the city is artsy-- not like Paris, which was a work of art in itself, but the streets were simply bursting with creativity. Although I struggled through the whole journey with ear pain and malfunctions, not to mention a terrible cold, my ailments were a small price to pay for what became another trip of a lifetime.

The Royal Palace of Amsterdam.

A scene from the Oude Kerk, the oldest church in Amsterdam, which was conveniently right next to my hostel.

My companion for this trip was Tricia Smith, a fellow ESU scholar who I met in London at the Thanksgiving dinner. Appreciative, curious, and flexible, she was the perfect traveling mate. It is not easy to find someone who is more than content with spending 4+ hours in a contemporary art museum  and Tricia is that kind of person. Our similar interests and tastes allowed for harmonious entertainment for the both of us, day after day. We bonded over our thoughts and experiences we had accumulated through the year, as well as our reminiscences from back home in the States. It was really a pleasure to share my journey with her, and I hope she feels the same.

The Atmosphere

I must admit that my first impression of Holland was its over-the-top, unintentionally hilarious language, I couldn't help but laugh out loud at some of the advertisements and signs on the street and think, how do they possibly say this with a straight face?

Some examples of giggle-worthy Dutch words.

Otherwise, though, the scenery around us was attractive, elegant, and sophisticated.  Although it was cold at first, even snowing the first few days I was there, the weather soon warmed up so that people could freely savor the internationally appreciated environment. The picturesque and peaceful canals of Amsterdam just as enjoyable as those of Venice, if not more so. And the bikes sprawled about the bridges made it even better, giving it a laid-back and welcoming vibe. You do definitely have to be careful in the city, though, because those innocent-looking bikes will easily run you over if you cross the street at the wrong time.

The locals are friendlier than any place I have visited so far: in the words of a tour guide, they are glad the tourists are there, unlike Paris, where they are considered a nuisance. Amsterdam is also one of the most diverse cities in the world, so it was amazing to hear the stories of real locals' journey to the city. Japanese art came to life on the brick building walls, with an Argentinean restaurant just around the corner. In my hostel room alone, I had great conversations with Macedonian, Italian, and British travelers who, like me, were attracted to Amsterdam's culture.

There were certainly--ahem-- interesting parts of the city, of course. Stereotypes usually have at least a bit of truth in them, and Amsterdam is not an exception. Space cakes and marijuana-themes souvenirs could be found in virtually every shop window, right along with clogs, bicycle figurines, and fake tulips. I didn't realize that my hostel was right smack in the middle of the red light district, which was certainly an interesting experience, but not to worry-- that's actually the safest part of the city. But as for me, I was content with spending my time elsewhere when I wasn't sleeping.

The outside of the breathtaking Rijksmuseum in the snow.

The Museums

Practically every day, Tricia and I made our way to at least one of Amsterdam's internationally known museums of art, history, and culture. It is impossible to choose a favorite between them: each had a certain charm about them that enthralled any visitor, no matter their age or interests. The Rijksmuseum was a perfect immersion into Dutch art, and was a good starting point in knowing all the important eras in Holland's history.

The Rijksmuseum's library, which was an absolute masterpiece.

The Van Gogh Museum featured countless all-too-familiar oeuvres, and spun the capturing yet tragic biography of the artist beautifully. 

A picture I definitely wasn't supposed to take of Van Gogh's palette. Oops. 

The Anne Frank House was a somber reminder of the evil capabilities of humanity, but also of the power of hope and perseverance. The Resistance Museum also provided excellent depth and perspective about the occupancy of Holland under the Third Reich, showing that history is far from black and white.

The Homomonument, a homage to homosexual victims of the Holocause right adjacent to the Anne Frank House. 

The Amsterdam museum gave great detail of the growth of Amsterdam over time, and how it came to be of such international significance.

Tricia, participating in an interactive exhibit at the Amsterdam museum.

Lastly, the Stedelijk Museum surprised me especially with a wonderful exhibition on Jean Tinguely's moving sculptures, and how he integrated sophistication with humor. I'm not usually one for modern art, but the works were so thought-provoking that I had no choice but to enjoy it.

The Rest

With so many galleries in Amsterdam, one might think that Tricia and I spent all our time observing art and history. But we did find time to experience the city in other ways (and no, in case you're wondering, this does not include some of Amsterdam's usual infamous tourist activities). Our first day, we wandered down to the floating tulip market--which ironically had no tulips due to the climate--but it was an interesting stop nonetheless.

The Bloemenmarket, a legendary floating flower market.

We also enjoyed the gorgeous sights sights of Amsterdam on both a walking tour and a canal cruise, which were as informative as they were entertaining. More than once, we headed to some of Amsterdam's best markets, which were lively and authentic (not to mention cheap).

The Albert Cyup market, where we got all our best souvenirs.

As you might expect, cheese shops were ubiquitous in the city, so we made sure to make some stops to taste some of the free samples with only a little guilt. My favorite activity, though, must have been when we rented bicycles for a day and rode through Vondelpark on a crisp morning.

It really felt like I was experiencing real Dutch life, and not observing it like a zoo, which tourism can often feel like.

A scene from a tulip shop right next to the Anne Frank House.

The Food

One of my regrets from this trip was that I did not try much of Holland's traditional cuisine-- you know, raw herring sandwiches, pancakes and bitterballen. However, on advice from our walking tour guide, we explored the cuisine that the locals enjoy most: Indonesian, Surinamese, and other Asian dishes. Sure enough, there were "Wok to Walks" on just about every street corner: it was a refreshing change from the UK's go-to Indian curries.

We ate from the supermarket often for cost and convenience reasons, but we did make sure to try some of Amsterdam's best. There was a Lebanese place that served some unconventional yet tasty pizza, and another place which served legendary savory crepes.

Lebanese pizza?? Don't knock it 'til you try it.

One morning, we treated ourselves at the "Happy Pig," the supposedly best pancake and waffle shop in the city-- and wow, did it live up to its reputation. Tricia had the delicious-looking Vale
ntine's Day Special with strawberries and caramel sauce, while I indulged in a waffle with fig jam.

On the last night, we culminated our visit with a Chipotle-style Mexican joint, which served the best burrito I have ever eaten. I did try Holland's famous stroopwafel (another funny word), a this wafer-like waffle with gooey syrup. Totally worth the stickiness.

So now, after spending the night at the Rattray house, I'm back at school and ready for school tomorrow. It will be a relatively relaxed half-term until spring break, with only a few assignments-- the workload will increase, I'm sure, as the end-of-year exams approach. I'm just so glad I got another chance to go and see Europe during my time here-- it's all about taking the opportunities as they come. I haven't decided where I will go during spring break, but I'm thinking either Germany (Berlin, mainly) or just a road trip around the UK. That's more than a month away, though, so for now I will be fully enjoying my time right here in Scotland.

And Days of Auld Lang Syne

Take a moment, close your eyes, and think of all the things that come into your mind when you think of Scotland. I'm talking bagpipes, kilts, outrageous accents, haggis, everything. Whatever you're thinking, there is a good chance that it is bound to be present at a standard Burns Supper. The whole event is so Scottish, it isn't even funny. Like, imagine being punched in the face by a single nationality, and there you have it: the Burns Supper.

The famous Robert Burns, born in 1759 and dying in 1796.

The Burns Supper is, you guessed it, a tribute to Robert Burns: the unofficial "national poet" of Scotland, a clever lyricist, and a notorious ladies' man. You might think of him as the man who wrote "Auld Lang Syne," which is sung around the world in countless languages around the New Year. Normally held around Burns' birthday at the end of January, it is a formal and traditional gathering full of Scottish music, poetry, speeches, and culture. Dollar Academy held its Burns Supper a bit later on the 6th of February, and was only open to Form VI pupils, teachers, and local governors from the area. After weeks of excitement, anxiety regarding table placement, and a bit of nervousness from the performers, everyone was thoroughly looking forward to the occasion.

A bagpiper playing his tunes as the guests arrived. 

The event began in the traditional Burns Supper way: the piping in of the Haggis. It's exactly what it sounds like: someone carries in a plate of the concoction trailed by a bagpiper playing "Scotland the Brave" (yes, that's the song you think of when you imagine bagpipes). Then, a chosen speaker has the honor of reading Burns' "Address to a Haggis," which you can read here for a good laugh, and the meal begins. After the haggis, neeps and tatties for a starter, the main course was a traditional roast rib and gravy, and then my favorite Scottish dessert: Cranachan. No, that's not a deep-sea monster; it's a mousse-like mixture with raspberries and oats, usually flavored with some spirits. Copious amounts of whisky are usually a necessity for a Burns Supper, but since 1. it was on a Monday night, 2. most of us were underage, and 3. we were surrounded by school authority figures and prestigious governors from the area, we had to settle for a few glasses of wine instead.

Form VI Heyworth girls, finally ready for Burns Night.

After we were all drifting into food comas, the real event began. Unfortunately, I don't have many pictures of the event due to its formal nature, but some may be published later on the Dollar website. The poems included "Epistle to a Young Friend" and Allan Water," ranging in topics from nature to women. Speaking of which, the Toast to the Lassies (and the reply) was quite possibly the best part of the night; the speaker, a boarder for 13 years at Dollar, was humorous and political yet polite enough for the occasion. The toast to the school and its reply by a teacher was touching, and produced a sense of nostalgia for the new and the old alike. There was quite a bit of banter thrown around from both boys and girls, teachers and students: everyone seemed content with the sharp and mocking humor, but that's not out of place in Scotland anyway.

The performances at Dollar's Burns Supper were absolutely amazing, if I do say so myself. The Form VI boys from the Chamber Choir performed "The Deil's Awa' wi' th'Exiceman," while the form VI girls (myself included) echoed with "O Whistle an' I'll Come to You."Others played their instruments for the entertainment of the crowd, including an absolutely beautiful Celtic duet featuring the pipes and an acoustic guitar. It's somewhat strange to see the people you might sit next to in class exhibiting an impressive talent you never knew they had-- in this way, the Burns Supper was also a way to appreciate each other for both our skills and our company.

Even though I understood exactly 0% of the Scots language spoken, and a few old school references flew right over my head, the event was still a memorable experience in which I was proud to participate. It especially reminded me of the proud, rich nationality that surrounds me, one that I will now be a part of for the rest of my life. I guess the Burns Supper was, then, sort of an initiation ceremony into the Scottish world, not unlike Culver's Cresting ceremony that occurs around this time of year. It's impossible to attend a Burns Supper and not feel even a little Scottish afterwards, anyway. Let's hope that it leads to many more moments of feeling Scottish in the future.

A New Year, A New Reflection

Prelims have finally started, much to the despair of Dollar pupils. The unusually mild weather makes it difficult to sit and study terrorism or quadratic equations for hours on end, but unfortunately, it must be done. To distract myself from too much boredom, I've decided to do another short reflection on how this year is going. As usual, I'll start with the positive.

For the first time, I feel confident that I have friends who genuinely love, value, and care about me. After all the holiday events such as the Form V and VI Ceilidh, Heyworth's holiday dinner, and my adventures in Italy with Hamish, I'm so glad that I can look back and remember not anxiety, not isolation, but a feeling of welcoming. For those of you who know me well, you'll know that that's quite a significant change. Even yesterday, on Heyworth's outing to Edinburgh's best Escape Room, I had to stop and smile (in the midst of the commotion, stress and excitement) that I was surrounded by intelligent, friendly, and kind girls. And I felt like I was finally one of them. There really is no better feeling.

Additionally,  I feel proud to have fully participated in the culture and traditions of Scotland itself. After all, I am on a cultural exchange. It's more than just the food, or the Highland dancing, or even the posh school uniform. It's also getting used to hearing the words "cheers" or "hiya" (and even throwing one in my vocabulary when I'm feeling extra brave), or simply taking advantage of the wonderful scenery around me. While it was difficult at first to accept the more relaxed structure of schoolwork within the first few months, I have learned to appreciate free time as normal Europeans do, instead of constantly worrying about the next thing on my plate. Early next February is the Robert Burns Supper, a traditional event featuring the national poet's works, music, and traditional Scottish food (Haggis, anyone?), which will be yet another opportunity to immerse myself in the nation's values.

Extracurricular activities are still going well, even though the numbers of Mixed Voice Choir and Orchestra have all but decimated after the Usher Hall Concert. Many organizations and clubs are suspended right now due to exams, but will be back again by the end of the month. I hope to be more involved in Amnesty International than I was last term, since we were only able to hold two official events in the little time we had. I'd also like to participate more in Dollar TED talks club this time by actually making a presentation, instead of simply watching.

As the FAFSA, enrollment fees, and housing applications for college are looming ahead, I have become increasingly aware of my plans for next year. Don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly excited and proud to be a part of the Cream and Crimson community at IU (go Hoosiers!), but I do feel some pressure already to perform well in higher education. Have I picked the right major? Are my academic skills adequate? Will I be able to work? Despite the beginning of the school year being eight months away, I still feel as though I need to be at the top of my game when the time to enter college comes.

Therefore, I have set a goal to improve my overall level of writing. I already write articles for the Galley (the school newspaper), Fortunas (the Parents' magazine), and, of course, this blog. But if I want to study subjects heavy in essays, or possibly a minor in Journalism, I'd like to become the best writer I can be to achieve my goals both here and at "uni" (as we call it over here). To challenge myself especially, I'd like to branch out and write articles I normally wouldn't attempt: maybe a review piece in the Galley, or a news report, instead of my usual political editorial or historical feature.

Overall, I'm still content with all I have accomplished so far, and I feel as though I'm making the most of my time in the UK. I also know that I will continue to do so until the end of the year. I am increasingly looking forward to future experiences such as the Spring Music Concert, Spring Break, and the end-of-year programs held for Form VI pupils at the end of the year (all while enjoying my time in the present, of course). But for now, back to the books... but perhaps after I watch the newest Sherlock episode.

Walking in a Mediterranean Wonderland

WARNING: readers beware. Lengthy blogpost and many pictures ahead. Seating and plenty of time advised.

Family and friends, I can now check a sixth and seventh country off my list for this year's travels: this time, Italy. I can't think of a better way (besides at home, maybe) to spend the holidays and the new year, and I feel like a totally different--definitely more well-rounded--person because of it. Visiting historic sites that have existed for thousands of years and witnessing notorious works of art has given me perspective, but has also allowed me to appreciate the world for what it is.

Salted caramel, one of my personal favorites.

In the past few weeks, I've tried a dozen flavors of gelato, used at least five different methods of public transport, seen two new seas, met travelers from four continents, and traveled myself over 1,700 miles to explore a new country. We've been to art museums, science museums, fountains, gardens, cathedrals, piazzas, a palace, a skating rink, and even a zoo to have the adventure of a lifetime. The weather was perfect: warm(ish) and sunny, begging us to explore the sights and sounds around us.

My travelling partner for this time around was Hamish, a Form V pupil from Dollar who lives in Spain. Hamish deserves extra credit for several reasons, including 1. he has a plethora of interesting history/life knowledge up his sleeve, 2. he puts up with my obscure and random facts about Catholic saints, and 3. he sings Hamilton on demand with me. He's also as hilarious as his is informed and open-minded, which made him a fantastic travel buddy.

Meet Hamish, who is standing in two different countries (Italy and the Vatican) at the time of this picture.

Here's a basic itinerary of what we did over the holidays: it would take hours of me to give the amount of detail all of these experiences deserve, but when I get back to the States, I promise that I will have lots of stories to tell.

FIRST STOP: ROME

Duration of stay: 10 nights
Best food: Penne with octopus; lamb tsehbi (a sort of stew) at an Eritrean restaurant

The Mouth of Truth supposedly bites off the hands of liars. Thankfully, my hands are intact.

Top experiences: Seeing the Pope (twice!); Vatican museums; St. Peter's Basilicas Rome's zoo; the famous Mouth of Truth; skating by the Castel Sant'Angelo; making a wish at the Trevi Fountain; walking the Spanish Steps; the Colosseum; the Pantheon

Most unexpected: At the location of Julius Caesar's murder, there happens to be a "cat sanctuary" for strays-- and visitors can adopt them. What a temptation.

Most found: Palm trees and "stone pines" (really, just lots of green); the initials SPQR; churches; random ancient ruins; uneven sidewalks; cats

Pope Frankie at Christmas, preaching a message of peace.

A Vatican Christmas parade.

Most memorable experience: A failed attempt at both cornbread and Venezuelan cachapas in the Hostel; using the Snapchat face-swap feature in the Vatican museum; practicing Scottish Dancing around the Circus Maximus

SECOND STOP: POMPEII

Duration of stay: day trip
Best food: The best cappuccino I have possibly ever had at the unlikely location of a train station
Top experiences: The beautiful panorama of Mount Vesuvius; my first ever view of the Mediterranean Sea; seeing mummified victims of the volcano

Most unexpected: The actual ruined city was closed, but walking around and seeing the ruins from the outside was just as worth it.

Most found: Hamish singing Bastille's "Pompeii" as often as possible; breathtaking scenery
Most memorable experience: ordering a plate of "mixed appetizers" and getting a plate of raw ham

THIRD STOP: FLORENCE

Chiesa Santa Maria del Fiore, my favorite cathedral.

Duration of stay: 6 nights
Best food: indulging in arepas and tequeños at a Venezuelan restaurant
Top experiences: Seeing Michelangelo's David,the famous Birth of Venus, and other famous works at the Uffizi Gallery and the Galleria dell'Accademia; Piazza de Michelangelo and its views; a whole building dedicated to food markets; the Florence Cathedral; long river walks

Most unexpected: The actual city of Florence is quite small, making it quite navigable and forgiving on the feet-- especially after the hills of Rome.

Most found: Leather and clothing shops; art and statues at every corner
Most memorable experience: Visiting the Galileo Museum and seeing maps dating back centuries

FOURTH STOP: PISA

Duration of stay: day trip
Best food: A simple picnic in front of all the tourist sights
Top experiences: Sunbathing in the warm atmosphere and perfect weather

Most unexpected: Again, I thought that the Tower of Pisa would be larger for being such an icon.
Most found: Horses and carriages offering rides to unassuming tourists

Most memorable experience: Seeing everyone make a fool of themselves attempting camera tricks with the leaning tower, and action of which I am equally guilty

FIFTH STOP: VENICE

Duration of stay: 5 nights
Best food: Mushroom risotto; a delicious wrap with ingredients I could not name or recognize

A charming scene on the island of Burano, where every house is a different color.

Top experiences: Wandering through the canals; St. Marco's Cathedral; the Doge's Palace; the Museum of Natural History; riding the waterbus to neighboring islands (Burano was the hands-down winner); Venice's Museum; the old Jewish Ghetto

Most unexpected: Venice is, in Hamish's wise words, a "topographer's nightmare"-- most streets seemingly will lead to a dead end, or even just take you back to where you started. It's like a maze, but on an entire island.

Most found: Bridges; overpriced gondolas; glass from the factory on Murano; masks for the famous Carnival in February
Most memorable experience: A Star Wars marathon celebrating the New Year

Overall, the indescribable views, the unique experiences, and the breathtaking historical and artistic scenes alone made our journey to Italy worthwhile in itself. Not only was the trip education and mind-opening, but it was also a perfect way to get out of the study zone and enjoy ourselves. If you had told me a year ago that I would be able to travel the world and actually check these adventures off my bucket list, I would never have believed it-- but here I am. Again, I am so grateful to everyone who made this able to happen-- family, friends, teachers-- and who enabled me with the courage and confidence to achieve this.

Although the gun-gray skies of Scotland were a less-than-warm welcome back, I am certainly ready to be a productive student again. Study leave for prelim tests start two weeks today, so a bit of review was definitely a good idea: the excuse of studying "history and art" in Italy will only get me so far. Next break is in mid-February, and I'm thinking Amsterdam maybe (open to suggestions, though! Leave a comment!). Until then, I must learn to "carpe diem" in my own everyday way, braving the bitter cold and taking advantages of my opportunities here at Dollar.

P.S. A few of my favorite moments...