Should I pack this pair of heels? Will I be able to get this soap in the UK? Do I need to take my Social Security card? Am I going to be able to live so long without lovely American peanut butter, or should I sacrifice a few pounds of my suitcase for it?
Too many choices and not enough time.
As I agonize over which of my possessions gets a coveted place in my luggage, however, my enthusiasm is intact-- and growing by the day. For the first time, I am leaving my small-town residence and seeing the world, or at least more of it, and even packing my bags stirs a sense of anticipation and excitement. The countdown of days has been taking effect since way back in April, of course, when I learned of my new location for the school year, and finally it is in the single digits.
And yet, my eagerness is nuanced by other emotions-- a bit of fear, a touch of sadness. How will I live without seeing my family for nine months? Without walking on the beautiful shores of Lake Maxinkuckee that I have known for my whole life? Without everything I have previously known? Despite my hesitance at leaving so much of my life behind, the positive emotions outweigh the negative emotions by far. After all, how else would I get the chance to experience the Scottish Highlands, bike through Paris, pray in the Catacombs of Rome? Or gain a whole other perspective from people I never would have known? Part of becoming a better person is being willing to leave behind the past, even if temporarily, in order to seize the present day and its opportunities. Hopefully, I'll be able to make the lives of others better and happier as well, because that's what life is about when all is said and done.
I think I'll pack that peanut butter, after all. And maybe the heels too.
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